I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize