I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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