Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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