Just fell off a train. Bad.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
