I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
