You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
