saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
