I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
