She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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