So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
