if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
