i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
