coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
