this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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