how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I love you. Go after that dick
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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