we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
