she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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