Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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