I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
