just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
