the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
