I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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