it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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