There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this boner is exhausting
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
