I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
