You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
