sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I wear drunk well.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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