hell yes lets make some ravioli
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
