OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
