Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
