Your tits are I can't wait for
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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