I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
