Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
