So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
