Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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