New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
