I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
