In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
