Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
