What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
