We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
