He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
