Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
