was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
