I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He did a backflip because drugs
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
