went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
