yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
