Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
