hell yes lets make some ravioli
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
