I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I got inside last night via doggy door
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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