So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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