a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
