are you so shy because you have an std?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
